Demon Duck of Doom!

Sex, Starfish and the American Way.

2006-09-03T22:06:48Z

It is time for me to do this, not that anyone has reason to care. I recall starting this LJ thing; I was bored while I was eating a cheeseburger. So, as anyone would, I wrote a duck story, and then another. To my dismay, young people read them so I had to be careful. I avoided four letter words like “time,” “whom,” and “what.” But I had to express myself, and employ the junior varsity of my vocabulary somewhere. I developed a sex site. This was a place where I could graphically describe starfish regeneration. I now find myself writing there, as I love the fawning starfish and the pleasant people I met. I offer this as an invitation. If you are silly enough, friend me there, I will be delighted by your presence. I doubt I will write anything here again.—Brought to you by your new friend -- goattalker

dddduck @ 2006-07-27T21:19:00

2006-07-28T01:20:42Z

This is a theme I have audaciously stolen from prettywittygirl.

A. Respond to this post, and I will describe you in three words.

B. Take a look a your LJ friends list, then list up to ten things you want to say to ten different LJ friends... DO NOT state who these people are. DO NOT confirm nor deny any "comment speculation".

========================================

In absolutely no order:

1. I love taking with you. I enjoy your ascorbic wit, but I know it cloaks a remarkably kind and sensitive soul.

2. Your intelligence, logic and art always amazes me.

3. Your constant passion fascinates me.

4. I am always impressed by your gentle, caring quality toward others even when you are not treated fairly.

5. You are smart, wise and kind. But you write way too much.

6. I love your originality and your writing.

7. You are incredibly artistic and very pleasant.

8. Your warmth, humor and kindness makes our talks highlights of my day.

9. I am worried about you. We have not communicated for a while and I know you were ill.

10. I have known you here for a long time. I am so impressed by the way you persevere. Someday, you will be a great scientist.

dddduck @ 2006-07-20T23:06:00

2006-07-21T03:09:23Z

This is the beginning of yet another story I am writing. No doubt it will take a Century to finish.

Sometimes I remember things. I remember a time in high school that some friends and I went to a stable. None of us knew how to ride a horse, but we paid our money. We were promised an explanation of what to do and horses we could ride. We hung out, waiting for our horses. We were alone so we were boisterous; we were high school guys. An old man, dressed in “riding attire” approached us on his huge horse. He was so pissed off that we were making noise. He came at us threateningly with that huge horse and that damn little whip. He threatened us with that damn little whip. My friends broke away, but I was so pissed I stood my ground. I told him “we paid to be here, leave us alone.” He brandished that damned little whip. I would never hurt a person, certainly not an older person, but this was different. He had the damn horse and that damned lttle whip. “If he tries to hit me with that fucking little whip he better succeed. If not, and I grab him, he is so fucking dead,” I thought. The owner came out. Things were calmed. He brought us our horses. My friends horses all galloped and they fell. I made it around the track. Since then, I have never trusted horses, people brandishing whips, fucking bullies, or my own temper if I let it get out of control.

dddduck @ 2006-07-20T21:55:00

2006-07-21T01:56:53Z

I stole this from requiella

You scored as Male. Being mostly male, within your structures of thinking simply means that your reasoning powers are the way they are perceived in Western Culture higher than the one of the opposite sex. Psychoanalsis claims this to come at the price of creative expression - a rational thinker can not think out of the box it is claimed. Yet, many creative Minds were men.

</td>

Male

71%

Neither

68%

Either

54%

Female

39%

Should you be MALE or FEMALE?*
created with QuizFarm.com

Read this and think

2006-07-16T18:26:18Z

http://cedarseed.deviantart.com/

dddduck @ 2006-07-15T19:59:00

2006-07-16T00:05:44Z

This sucks.

"Fri Jul 14, 7:36 PM ET

HONOLULU - Junior Stowers raised his hands and exclaimed, "Thank you, Jesus!" in court last month when he was acquitted by a jury of abusing his son.
ADVERTISEMENT

But his joy was short-lived when Circuit Judge Patrick Border held him in contempt of court for the "outburst" and threw him in jail.

Stowers, 47, sat in the courtroom and a cellblock for about six hours until the judge granted him a hearing on the contempt charge and released him....."

Yes, I have repeatedly said I don't believe in anything metaphysical. But persecuting people just because they openly expres religious beliefs utterly sucks. It is simply another witch-hunt. If I were to be characterized, I am a libertarian secular humanist who excessively likes Sushi. But, if secular humanism means intolerance, fuck secular humanism.

dddduck @ 2006-07-15T18:02:00

2006-07-15T22:12:18Z

Am I the only one on the planet who thinks that what is going on in the Mid East is FUCKING STUPID. Iran, Syria and Israel have each other exactly where they want each other. No outcome works. Israel is the most powerful country with many nukes and the means to deliver them. It also has the backing of the US. Syria and Iran probably have nukes and the covert backing of Russia and China. Iran and Syria figure the US is tied down with Iraq and North Korea, so this is their time. This is like the Balkans just before WWI, but more dangerous. What happens when the first moron nukes the second moron. Other counties with dying populations from radiation clouds are perturbed. More retaliation. WWI all over again.

Killer kangaroo, demon duck of doom roamed Outback

2006-07-12T16:05:31Z

Wed Jul 12, 3:15 AM ET

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Forget cute, cuddly marsupials. A team of Australian palaeontologists say they have found the fossilized remains of a fanged killer kangaroo and what they describe as a "demon duck of doom".....

OK everyone. From now on my moniker is "demon duck of doom."

dddduck @ 2006-07-04T18:02:00

2006-07-04T22:03:06Z

Culture is a fun-necessary thing. I just read part of dreamhope's journal. She explained how she and her friends stay up all night on the night of the Summer solistice to beat the drums before sunrise. She explained their lack of faith-- "[m]aybe the sun won't rise after its shortest nap of the year if we aren't there to wake it up." That is such an elegant personal ceremony. It is ceremonies like these that actually imbue meaning to life. My closest is meeting some very close friends at a particularly seedy bar in the afternoon each year on Einstein's birthday and drinking bad beer excessively. By the end of the celebration, we all think we understand relativity, generally. But, I digress. Somehow social ceremonies give context to our lives. We remember things in part based upon their temporal relationship to our ceremonies. We quickly forget our day to day events, but we recall events during our ceremonies with great clarity. Except, of course, that most important day-- Einstein's birthday. I recall almost nothing of those ceremonies, except that I look forward to it every year.

dddduck @ 2006-07-02T22:06:00

2006-07-03T02:10:27Z

In our "Industrial Society" people took the weekend off. In our lovely "Post Industrial Society," the weekend is just more time to do work. Hooray for our advanced technology and culture!

A silly, very short, story...

2006-07-02T19:21:30Z

Mommy does not move well anymore!

Mommy doesn’t move well anymore. When we came here, all of the Mommies seemed to have trouble moving. Carrie is crying. She doesn’t know what to do without our Mommies. They are so pretty, so shiny, so clean. They never slept; they were always there and always so patient.

Now we live on this dirty place and our Mommies are less and less able to help us. I am one of the first, so I have to help the others like Carrie. Mommy told me that Carrie and I must fuck and make babies. She said we must fuck others, too, but it was necessary that Carrie and I have babies. Somehow, it was so much easier to understand on the ship with our all-powerful gleaming Mommies than here on this scary, dirty planet.

I know we could not stay on the ship. It was tired; I guess our Mommies were tired, as they traveled thousands of years to get here. Mommy said I am thousands of years old. We were embrios frozen, revived, and allowed to develop by our Mommies so we could settle this dirty planet. Mommy said “biological entities,” that is what she called us because she loves us, “are necessary to terraform a planet for AIs.” I never really understood those sacred words, but that is why we are here. That is why the firsts, like me, must take care of the others. I must use everything Mommy taught me so that we can live on this dirty, scary planet. That is why I have to make babies with Carrie, though the idea seems like it will be fun.

In time, thousands of years, other Mommies will come. I will be dead, whatever that means, but the Mommies will make it all right. They will come when we have settled this dirty planet, built machines and made a world where our beautiful, gleaming, loving mommies can live and never slow down. Then, Mommy said, we won't have to live on this dirty, scary planet anymore. We won't be needed.

I guess because we are such good friends.

2006-06-29T21:25:07Z

I died in the Dungeon of Dddduck

I was killed in a torchlit pit by Requiella the fire elemental, whilst carrying...

the Crown of Fistik and 0 gold pieces.

Score: 37

Explore the Dungeon of Dddduck and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...

Between Zen and Zeus, I must be in St. Louis

2006-06-26T01:03:07Z

Between Zen and Zeus, I must be in St. Louis

I am now going to speak of my new story, the one no one will ever read, as I will never finish it. It is a detective story, again. I received help. A really good, published, writer advised me on how to write a detective story. Another smart, though I don’t know if he was ever published, writer advised me on process. But, I can’t write it until I see it and the middle is murky. Then, again, the world will not have to suffer another piece of fiction by me, until I see it. So, world, hope someone steps on my spectacles.

Back to Zen and Zeus. My worldview remains that everything is obvious if you lose your preconceptions. This is Zen. I understand the importance of context. One must understand the context of a thing to understand it at all. This is the Greek, Roman, and Western European Tradition—Zeus. Between them is a place somewhere in the Midwestern part of the U.S., probably St. Louis. I chose St. Louis because I once ate at a very good BBQ place there, so if I have to sit down and put all of Eastern and Western culture together and understand it all, I may as well have a cold beer and some excellent ribs.

Brainfart

2006-06-25T20:15:32Z

Sorry, but I am working. When I focus on something, I restrain my silly imagination. Silliness builds up and eventually I can’t hold it. I have a "brainfart." Now, I am a considerate man. I would never expose real people to a brainfart, they think terrible. So I only expose virtual people like you.

No, I am not going to ask the ultimate question. You already know that the answer is 42. Instead, I will ask an easy one. Why do we live?

Immediately the easy answers come to mind. Eating Sushi, “Ren and Stimpy,” defeating the hated windmill in miniature golf, Wednesday afternoons, and, of course, Henry Kissinger’s nose.

But, the more esoteric may see the bigger picture – “Oprah.”

The devil you say...

2006-06-25T17:20:17Z

I give up. Occasionally I write something silly just for the fun of it. But, I will never succeed in writing something more ridiculous than this news story:

"SALT LAKE CITY Republican congressional hopeful John Jacob believes the devil is impeding his efforts to unseat five-term Representative Chris Cannon.

He says there's another force that wants to keep him from going to Washington and the devil is what it is..."

Admittedly, I have often considered the possibility of demonic presence when I think of the New York Yankees, but even I am not so silly as to publicly express it.

dddduck @ 2006-06-23T23:56:00

2006-06-24T03:57:55Z

I stole this from Enodia. It seems that I found myself.

You scored as XIII: Death. Death is probably the most well known Tarot card - and also the most misunderstood. Most Tarot novices would consider Death to be a bad card, especially given its connection with the number thirteen. In fact this card rarely indicates literal death.Without "death" there can be no change, only eventual stagnation. The "death" of the child allows for the "birth" of the adult. This change is not always easy. The appearance of Death in a Tarot reading can indicate pain and short term loss, however it also represents hope for a new future.

</td>

XIII: Death

100%

II - The High Priestess

81%

XVI: The Tower

81%

VIII - Strength

81%

IV - The Emperor

75%

X - Wheel of Fortune

63%

I - Magician

50%

0 - The Fool

44%

XI: Justice

31%

III - The Empress

25%

XIX: The Sun

19%

XV: The Devil

13%

VI: The Lovers

13%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

dddduck @ 2006-06-23T16:27:00

2006-06-23T20:35:27Z

Recently, I read:

"Jon Stewart, Enemy of Democracy?

By Richard Morin
Friday, June 23, 2006; Page A02

This is not funny: Jon Stewart and his hit Comedy Central cable show may be poisoning democracy.

Two political scientists found that young people who watch Stewart's faux news program, "The Daily Show," develop cynical views about politics and politicians that could lead them to just say no to voting."

Now that is really stupid. Understand, I am not a Liberal or a Conservative. I am a Libertarian, so both of you go away and stop annoying me. But to turn your back on the political process because you don't trust politicians is like turning your back to a hungry tiger because you don't like cats. Come on! Our leaders, perhaps by definition, are unpleasant but they are also far too dangerous to ignore. We must all be deeply in the political process to keep the rascals from too much mischief.

Writing

2006-06-23T18:05:26Z

Let me speak of writing. Writing is something I do not do very well. Writing takes time and effort. I am trying to write a silly detective story. I see the beginning and the end, but parts of the middle confuse me. I can't write it until it is one vision in my mind. When, and if, that happens, I will not be able to stop writing it.

I said I wouldn't, but why not? Stolen from Tenebrosity.

2006-06-22T03:59:43Z

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.
Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.
Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

How do we think?

2006-06-21T19:22:45Z

I had a bit of free time and I started reading and responding to LJ. What I read raised the question, how do we think. I think in images. A new idea may appear in my mind like a banner, embellished by a diagram, being carried by chipmunks, all of whom are singing, and they sound like Frank Sinatra. Some are less pleasant, e.g. President Bush chasing a Wombat in circles around a Palm Tree during a snow storm. I think ideas are inherently ridiculous. Just somehow they seem to work and seem to have meaning in real life.

dddduck @ 2006-06-19T00:46:00

2006-06-19T04:48:50Z

Someone made an intelligent post. That, of course, created an utterly silly image in my mind.

Here we go sports fans, the ultimate battle. In this corner at 6’5" and 256 lbs, Hulk ,the uncertain, Hogan!!! Holder of both the "SHBF" (Secular Humanist Boxing Federation) and "EBF" (Existentialist Boxing Federation) championships of the world!

And, in this corner at 5’6” and 120 lbs, Princess, the faithful, Lea! Undisputed champion of the "DBBF" (Devout Believers Boxing Federation).

This is an extraordinary event. The winner will hold and unify both all three titles!

“Now you both know the rules shake hands and come out sarcastic.”

Ring

Round 1:

Lea strikes first with subtle sarcasm. Hogan counters with wry humor. Double entendre by Lea! Hogan is down. He may be down for the count. No, he finds his legs. A knock- knock joke, Lea is reeling. Oh the humanity!

Ring

Now, a word from our sponsor.

“Camels taste good like a cigarette should.”

Round 2:

Hogan still looks shaky from that double entendre but Lea looks tough. Hogan turns his back. Pointless disdain! Lea is stunned. No, she counters. She turns her back and responds with equally pointless disdain. The referee stops the fight, simply because no one cares anymore.

So, fight fans, there we go.

There will be no unification of the title; no one cares.

dddduck @ 2006-06-18T16:51:00

2006-06-18T20:52:32Z

I am working, but the TV is on and I am watching the U.S. Open. This golf course is so hard that obviously it was intended for a final threesome made up of Cassius, Brutus and Judas. I am not sure who designed the course I understand Dante, something, did the first nine, and they say a fellow named S—something did the rest. Cool.

Funny trip!

2006-06-18T18:50:11Z

Life is such a strange journey. Up and down, in and out. We even touch and affect each other. Even I, an irascible fool, sense connection, though that connection is transitory.

dddduck @ 2006-06-16T17:00:00

2006-06-16T21:03:02Z

People are always trying to get their ducks in a row. I feel rather offended by that.

Never aging?

2006-06-14T16:06:14Z

Never aging?

Recently I read:

Anti-aging molecule discovered
Posted on June 13, 2006 | 10:43
A team of South Korean scientists on Sunday claimed to have created a "cellular fountain of youth," or a small molecule, which enables human cells to avoid aging and dying. The….

OK, this sucks. The one constant in life is the certainty of death. Life ends. The issue is not what will happen but when. This certainty frees us to enjoy life. It means that we never really have a significant reason to worry, and we can do what we want. Now, maybe death will be optional! But life eternal is like a baseball season without a World Series. It makes everything pointless and dull. Still, I’ll take a pint of these “small molecules.”